Lifestyle Fashion admin  

Expectations: Can childhood trauma cause someone to have ‘negative’ expectations?

It has been said that someone should not have expectations; however, it has also been said that having expectations is simply part of the human experience. If they are simply part of the human experience, it will not be possible to eliminate all expectations.

So if someone were to try to remove them, they would be wasting your precious time and energy. Furthermore, there will be expectations that someone is aware of and there will be those that they are not aware of.

Two levels

Therefore, even if one were to say that they had no expectations prior to having a certain experience, there will still be those who are running on a deeper level. What is happening at a deeper level will also shape the experience you have.

When describing what an expectation is, one could say that it will be something of which one is completely sure. So there is no doubt that this will be something that will happen.

self reflection

Now, if someone were to take a step back and reflect on their own life, they might see that they have a set of “negative” expectations. As stated above, these will be things that you are sure will happen.

The reason that what you expect will have such a big effect on how you experience life is that you are not simply observers of your reality. What is occurring within them is co-creating their external world.

Two parts

This means that one is observing his own creation, his creation being the result of what is occurring in both his conscious and unconscious mind. If you only had a conscious mind, having the right thoughts would allow you to create the life you want.

However, since what is happening above is only part of the equation, focusing solely on your mind will not allow you to do this. That’s why the law of attraction doesn’t always work.

a deeper look

However, if one were to list their ‘negative’ expectations, they might find that they have some, if not all, of the following:

• Who expect to be mistreated
• What do they expect to be left?
• Who expect to be ignored
• Who expect to be rejected
• Who expect to be harmed
• Who expect to be trampled
• Who are waiting to be sacrificed
• Who expect to be criticized
• Who expect to be humiliated

The next step

Once they get an idea of ​​what some of your ‘negative’ expectations are, they might end up looking for a way to do something about it. If they did this, this could be a time when they are told to replace their ‘negative’ expectations with ‘positive’ expectations.

To do this, they can be encouraged to be mindful, so that they begin to watch their mind and notice when they have ‘negative’ expectations. They will then be able to replace an expectation at one end of the spectrum with an expectation at the other end.

A process

Thanks to your awareness and application of what you have learned, your life will gradually change over the weeks and months. There could soon come a time when they will remember what their life was like and because of how different their life is, they will find it difficult to relate to it.

On the other hand, they may find that this approach does not work or has no lasting effect. One way of looking at this would be to say that you just need to keep going and pretty soon you will experience the results you want.

getting to the root

Another way of looking at this would be to say that they need to deal with what is happening on a deeper level in order for their life to truly change. For this to happen, it will be necessary to take a closer look at why they have these ‘negative’ expectations.

Ultimately, it’s unlikely that these just appeared out of nowhere; there is going to be a reason why one has them. There is a possibility that they are a consequence of what happened during his early years.

back in time

This may have been a time when they were abused and/or neglected on a weekly if not daily basis. The expectations you have as adults will be seen as ‘negative’, but at this stage in your life, they were merely a reflection of reality.

Beneath the expectations you have will be the pain you experienced all those years ago. Merely dealing with the consequences of what happened will not fix the original pain that accompanies it.


Much of this pain, pain that will be an effect on their unmet developmental needs, will have to be grieved. By engaging in this process, one is likely to find that their ‘negative’ expectations begin to fade.
If you can relate to this and are ready to take the next step, you may need to seek outside support. This is something that can be done with the help of a therapist or healer.

Leave A Comment

cowgirl boots