When you ask lesbian women why they prefer to sleep with women over men, you can get a variety of reasons, but one of them stands out right away: women know how to touch a woman. Apparently most men don’t.

Early in my career, I decided to explore the subject and learn what women know that we don’t. He wanted to know everything about touch. Not just any touch, mind you, a sensual touch. I have seen many guides and instructional videos on sensual massage over the years, and they all seemed somewhat inadequate. They were very “masseurs”, and not very “sexy”.

It wasn’t until I attended a Tantra seminar, with a Russian teacher (A Russian? Teaching Tantra? Who would have thought?), that I understood what sensual massage is really about.

The touch style I’ve since adopted is something I call non-massage, because it looks like a massage, but it isn’t. It is a sensual connection and pleasure system, and the fact that some movements can resemble a massage is really a coincidence.

Most women have never been touched in this way, and the response their bodies generate can be impressive. Many women told me that they never knew their bodies could react this way; they didn’t think they had it in them.

In the following paragraphs I will try to explain my philosophy of touch and give some practical tips to do it. Don’t worry if it seems a bit esoteric or abstract at first. My goal is to first show you the right mindset and then turn it into a practical tool for pleasure.

The rules of no-massage

There are four main differences that distinguish no-massage from any massage you have come across before:

No-Massage Rule #1 – No body parts

Massage tends to dictate how to properly work each body part and which body parts to use for each stroke.

In no-massage, there is no division between good body parts vs. bad body parts There are no body parts that bore you vs. body parts you really want to touch. There are no body parts that are appropriate vs. body parts to avoid

There is only one full and magnificent body in front of you, and you touch everything without discrimination. The knee is as attractive as the neck, and the nipple is as appropriate as the shoulder.

Everything is incredible, and everything is erogenous.

No-Massage Rule #2 – No Roles

Massage tends to define the roles of giver and receiver: one person aims to provide pleasure to another and the other does nothing.

In non-massage there is no division between the person giving pleasure and the person receiving it. Both of you do it to enjoy your bodies to the fullest, and therefore you should enjoy it together, simultaneously, without having to take turns.

This also means that the “no body parts” rule applies to both: one body is used to touch another body and provide pleasure to both. Hair touching skin, skin touching hair, warm breath gliding over damp skin…it’s all fair game.

Partners can forget about their “roles” and simply enjoy every pleasure that the moment brings. They form a pleasure system, an energy center and a mind during the session.

No-Massage Rule #3 – No skin

Silent water runs deep. If you like to touch the skin, you will get to the skin; if you aim to massage the muscle enclosed by the skin, you will hit the muscle.

But if you want to reach the soul, your touch must be much, much more subtle than that. You need to just feel the surface, get close but not quite, and get a little closer slowly and gently… the softer your touch, the deeper it will penetrate, until your partner feels that the skin and muscles are gone. t even there, and your touch penetrates through all the layers and goes right to its core.

A truly deep touch can create sensations in the nerves that have nothing to do with the skin or the muscles; they are not near the surface, but you can still reach them with enough gentleness and intention. Just imagine that your hand (or anything else really) can dissolve and go through objects and reach them. You will feel it.

PS This may be obvious, but it’s worth mentioning anyway: one layer it can’t penetrate is fabric, so it’s always best to massage the person and not their clothing. Ideally, both of you should be completely nude; anything else can still be pleasurable, but not as deep.

No-Massage Rule #4 – There is no time

Massage tends to have a start time and end time, various stages, and a relatively even amount of time devoted to each part of the body.

In non-massage we already know that there are no body parts, but I would also like to suggest that time does not matter. You start when you feel like playing and finish when you feel like moving on to something else. Between these two points, you do everything as slowly as possible, as there is no set number of actions you have to complete. As a general rule of thumb, whatever your intuition tells you to do, do it four times slower and four times easier.

There is no goal to aspire to, no objective to achieve. Both partners simply do what they feel like doing at any given moment and observe their sensations. Imagine looking at the point of contact between the two bodies from the inside, looking up from under the skin; feel the touch of one body penetrating deeply into another body, feel the heat at the point of contact.

That’s all about it.

How to do it

There really isn’t a “right” way to touch another person, but my experience has taught me that soft, slow, intentional touching appeals to the vast majority of women.

Sometimes I tell them what I’m doing and why I’m doing it that way, and other times I don’t, I just close my eyes and play. It really depends on the woman’s comfort level.

I start with my hands until I feel she is comfortable enough, then I move on to using my forearms, hair, breath, chest, and other parts. I always touch her body at several points at once (for example, two hands, a hand and a forearm, a hand and her hair, etc.), and I move with very slow, very smooth, continuous movements, trying to turn everything the movement in ONE. long stroke, and not a sequence of separate strokes.

Although the rule says no body parts, realistically, if the woman isn’t used to the way you touch her, it’s best to do it slowly and not do anything that makes her hesitant or self-conscious from the start.

Go slow and gradually work your way into more daring areas, with light touches at first. For example, before placing your entire hand on your entire breast, first run one finger along or below the side, from shoulder to hip; then, a few seconds later, slide two fingers on the surface, etc.; each time it will be a little more daring than the last, so your subconscious mind will not feel that what happened was unusually inappropriate.

Once you’ve “gained access” to your entire body, it becomes especially crucial to forget your own preferences and avoid spending all your time near your sexual organs. Every time you generate some “heat” in these standard erogenous zones, slowly slide it out to other areas of her body.

This trick will accomplish several things:

1. Everyone likes their sexual organs, but you show appreciation for their whole body. That makes her feel special and makes you special for cultivating this feeling.

2. The heat you generate does not disappear and does not stay in one place. Alternating between more and less erogenous zones will move the sensation throughout your body and make your entire body erogenous. Soon you’ll hear sounds of pleasure even when you touch her hipbone or elbow, parts she’s definitely never considered erogenous before.

3. Help dissolve his attention and let him really feel your touch. If you only touch the standard points, your mind can wander and start thinking about irrelevant things like “Do I look good?” or “Am I making the sounds he expects me to make?” When you move sensations through a greater variety of areas, and especially through areas where they have never experienced them before, it overwhelms their senses and draws their attention away from thoughts and back to their body and sensations.

If you follow these guidelines and experiment every chance you get, this style of playing will soon become very natural, and the positive feedback you receive will most likely be overwhelming.

No one else plays like that. Now it’s our trade secret.