Whether your husband threw you out of the car on the side of the road in Alaska or packed up and moved out of the house, the fact remains that you want him back. Follow this tip to see if he’s in the cards.

Step 1: Is he husband material: First of all, you made the decision to say yes, but did things suddenly change when you became a union? Some men just can’t handle the monotony and finality of a marriage, so perhaps your best advice is to try to win it back without the pressures of being husband and wife.

Step 2: Do some wife work: Marriage is a two-way street and before you blame that bum of a husband for leaving you, make sure you’re something sweet to come home to. If you reflect on the ways the arrangement could have been improved, you may have a better plan of attack.

Step 3: Have an open mind: Your goal is to get your husband back, but remember that it doesn’t necessarily have to happen right away. If he keeps an open mind, allows you space, and goes with the flow, you have a better chance of not only getting him back, but keeping him in the picture forever.

Step 4: Where did it go? Is your husband just taking time off or using the split to spend his retirement savings in Las Vegas? You have to make sure that she isn’t gone forever and that she was there in the first place before trying to get it back.

Step 5: Be positive: Instead of dwelling on the fact that your marriage is starting to look like cookie crumbs, focus on being positive. Think of ways you can get it back instead of how miserable you currently feel. To see the light at the end of the tunnel, sometimes you need to put on rose-tinted sunglasses.

Step 6: Don’t Drive a Wedge: The events that happen during a separation are critical to taking the steps to get back together. Your marriage is struggling right now, but don’t do irreparable damage by insulting your husband or arguing with him. When you talk, make sure it’s positive, constructive, and healthy.

Step 7: Your loss: Eventually, you have to start taking the attitude that he’s missing it by not being with you. You’re quite the catch, and even though he left you in an Alaskan motel, you’ll have the last laugh when his car breaks down in the middle of nowhere.