The end of sex in a relationship is a huge red flag. And when it is the man who withdraws from sex, it is a great flag.

Sometimes it means the man is gay or bisexual. Sometimes it means that the man has erection difficulties. It often means that he is having emotional or work challenges that are turning him off. And sometimes it means there’s another woman, even if it’s just an emotional affair.

When this happens in a marriage, a sex therapist can help. When it happens in a dating relationship, it often signals the end of the relationship.

But no matter what happens with him, the solution is the same for you: you must open up to other men.

I know this may surprise you, especially if you are a married woman. But trust me, I managed to turn my dying marriage around by following a few simple principles that will let you know if your relationship is worth saving… or if it’s better to move on.

And when I say “open up to other men,” I don’t mean sexually. If you are not married, you should continue to accept dates from men until you have the kind of commitment you want with a man. When you’re married, I mean you flirt with men and revel in your feminine nature.

Either way, staying open to other men will increase your confidence level, even if you’re only talking to other men and not actually dating them. It allows you to take all of your attention away from your man, which in turn takes the pressure off of you and gives you the space to initiate sex.

Sometimes this subtle behavior change in you can cause dramatic changes in him. When that happens and your man approaches, you might even realize that the source of the problem is you.

When my marriage was at its lowest point, I was filled with despair and insecurity. Then I started to open up to other men just by smiling more and receiving nice compliments. I felt so good and so feminine that my vibe changed and I was able to be more open to my husband.

I also discovered that anger was causing a lot of our problems, namely its natural resistance to my constant attempts to correct and fix it. When I opened the walls that were between us emotionally and stopped doing it wrong, everything changed so fast that I had no choice but to realize that the problem at the root of it all was me.

As he worked on me, our marriage got better and better every day.

But I was also lucky. My man was able to do the intimacy. He loved me and continues to love me, so he really wanted our marriage to be great; he just didn’t know what was wrong (he didn’t even know anything was wrong!).

So if he is physically able, if he is mostly straight, and if he is still with you and not with another woman, you can also change your relationship. Stay open to other men and stop correcting him or doing him wrong. I trust that if he is the right man for you, your connection will deepen and your man will want to get closer. If not, you can walk away confident that you did the best you could and make room in your life for the kind of connected relationship you’ve always dreamed of.