I often hear from wives who tell me that they think their husband is no longer in love with them. I often hear phrases like: “I’m afraid she doesn’t love me anymore.” Or “She acts like she doesn’t like her anymore.” Or “I’m not sure if she still loves me.” Wives often ask me if there is any way to know if they are right in these suspicions. I think this is because they hope they are wrong.

Many times, the wife will approach the husband with her concerns and then tell him that he is being overly dramatic or imagining things. Many husbands will use the defense that it is unrealistic to expect a couple who have been married a while to be as demonstrative as they were when they first started dating. This may well be true, but when one partner feels unloved in the relationship, this can be a real problem. And frankly, the perceptions of both spouses can also be the reality.

The husband may repeatedly swear that he still loves his wife (and might even believe it himself), but if she doesn’t feel valued and treasured, then for her, this is absolutely true. And this truth is likely to influence the way she acts and reacts to her husband. And it is likely that he will react too. And so this assumption (whether true or not) may have some real consequences on the marriage. In the following article, I will offer some ideas for wives who are afraid that their husbands no longer love them in the hope that this will help bring about some improvements in the marriage.

Some things you may see or experience if your husband has lost loving feelings for you: Wives often ask me if there is any way to tell if their husband no longer loves them. Unfortunately, you can’t directly see her heart or her brain. Either you’re stuck saying her word as truth or you can watch her behavior for clues.

Husbands who no longer feel love for their wives will begin to treat her as an acquaintance, co-worker, or friend rather than a lover. Intimate gestures and physical displays often give way to an “all hands on deck” attitude. Sure, the two of you can still interact as parents or as two people running a household together. But you’ll probably notice that he doesn’t get as close to hold your hand or caress your face as much anymore. He may no longer listen to you as intently as he used to. And you may not notice as much humor or laughter present. You may also be spending more and more time outside.

However, with these things being said, seeing these behaviors does not mean that your marriage is doomed or that your husband has fallen 100% for you. However, it can mean that she is taking you or the marriage for granted or that she has “fallen out of love” with the relationship because she no longer provides the feedback and reward she once did. (And this could be true for you, too.)

Everything here can be fixed eventually and the fact that you are looking into this topic shows that you are willing to put in the time and effort to turn things around. So, let’s move on to how you can do just that.

It’s usually a better idea to focus on making positive changes rather than defining exactly how much (or if) your husband still loves you. (In a healthy marriage, you don’t have to ask:) Wives often ask me repeatedly if there are ways to “know for sure” if their husband still loves them. These are questions I can’t answer definitively, though I can usually tell that if she’s asking the question, this alone should get her attention.

There is a real danger in putting all your focus on discovering your husband’s feelings for you while neglecting the very things that are going to change this. I often tell wives that they are usually better off worrying about change than worrying about semantics and definitions. Because usually, if you make the changes that make your marriage happy again, the feelings and behaviors follow right away so you don’t have to worry about these things anymore.

So, if you’ve fallen into the trap of trying to get a straight answer from your husband when he’s in denial or getting annoyed by repeated questions, consider focusing on what you can do to get more. of the behaviors and improvements you want to see. If she felt loved, understood, and appreciated by her husband right now, she would not need to discuss this topic. So the real key is to get the marriage back to a better place instead of putting all her focus on the feelings that tend to automatically go hand in hand with a healthy marriage.

Returning the Marriage to a Better Place So She Feels Loved by Her Husband Again: Hopefully, I’ve made it pretty clear that, in my experience, when a marriage gets better, feelings almost always follow. It can help determine how your marriage went off the rails in the first place. Sometimes there are very different issues that are eroding things and other times, the couple has just fallen into a rut for various reasons.

Whatever the cause, you will often be more successful if you don’t focus on the negative and instead focus on the positive. No one likes to be called out to the fact that what they are doing is making their spouse unhappy. People will generally avoid or negatively perceive someone who implies that they (or their behaviors) are the cause of the other person’s unhappiness. But, if you can make things better by focusing on what’s been right rather than what’s currently wrong, you’ll usually get a better response (and more cooperation) from your husband.

Show him the positive, happy, go-lucky, life-embracing woman he fell in love with. Catch him doing something that makes you feel loved and praise him and let him know how good it makes you feel. Demonstrate the kind of behavior you want to see, and then rack up more positive feedback.

Sometimes wives tell me they resent having to install all the upgrades. This may seem one-sided at first, but it helps you get what you want. And isn’t that what’s really important? Because when you feel loved again, then you will probably exhibit some of the behaviors and actions that will elicit more demonstrative efforts from your husband to turn the cycle from negative to positive.