We live in a world that is exposed to constant terror. A few days ago an individual was arrested at JFK airport. The flight he disembarked from was AL-LIE 2006 from the Far-Far East. When checking in at the customs counter, immigration officials noticed unusual emotion from one of the travelers. After a thorough search, the suspicion was confirmed. The subject, who posed as a university professor of basic sciences, was in possession of suspicious and dangerous items. The customs officer reported that he was in possession of an eraser, a ruler, a protractor, a vernier caliper, a bottle of milk and a peculiar codified book of non-Anglo-Saxon origin on units and algorithms: “The 2006 Edition – SI Units , Conversion and Measurement Skills”. The key words sounded: “unit conversion”, “experimental science”, “measure if”, “English to metric”, “funny proofs”, “uncertainty”, “power of ten” and “the da Vinci code”. also very suspicious…

The man evidently contravened recently imposed flight regulations. He was immediately taken to an undisclosed Central European interrogation camp.

Thanks to recently approved interrogation methods, officers quickly learned that the man was a member of the infamous Al-Gebra movement. He was accused of carrying weapons of mathematical instruction. Al-Gebra was discovered to be a section of a fearsome extremist scientific cult whose goal is to constantly increase knowledge of numbers with the sole intention of taking over the world. They use secret names like “X” and “Y” and refer to themselves as “Unknowns”. What threatens the world is that in different countries, “Unknowns” change the names of their units to: fps, imperial, cgs, mks, KGB, si, ichi-foot, metric, tuzin-kopa and other strange names that make them difficult . continue. However, they have been determined to belong to a common illuminati denominator with coordinates in every country on earth since time immemorial…

Commenting on the event, President Bush assured the American public that no foreign (even French) units would be allowed into the US. Citizens were warned not to make any contact with them. The result of the immediate survey showed that 90% of the population reacted positively to the appeal.

In his defence, the individual muttered that he had been framed by his own daughter who had planted a bottle of milk in his luggage as an expression of her love. He admitted that he had flown in from the Far East to help American science teachers. He confessed that, despite the recent Nobel Prizes, he was very concerned about the quality of science textbooks in the United States. He was also concerned that, according to “Trumpet” magazine, the percentage of American students planning to pursue engineering degrees had dropped from 36% to 6% over the past decade. The final straw that prompted him to board the plane was a statement from his beloved Oprah, who mentioned on prime-time television that high school students in the US had ranked 24th on international math tests. . She denied that the book she was carrying was a set of instructions but rather a unique book on experimental science. He said the book was stimulating and entertaining in nature and just what American students needed. He argued that Amazon had already been selling the book for some time at an exorbitant price, beyond the reach of the average American student, and without the author’s permission.

(This strange message was passed on to IIPCAG for investigation). His intention was to find an honest American publisher and sell the book for a price ten times lower. Then he began a strange chant: “u-uk yu-usa, do n’t-de-lay, metri-cate!”

The officials concluded that although the terrorist had been deprived of a lawyer and a doctor, he should rather be admitted for psychiatric observation…