No, the title does not refer to hotel accommodation! To love unreservedly means to love completely, fully, without suspicion or mistrust, kindly, compassionately, and consciously. So many people fall in love instead of love, or fall in love with the idea Whose do you think the loved one is? That kind of love is so different from Real love that it’s not even a pale comparison. To love consciously is to love with eyes wide open, knowing the other person’s faults and weaknesses and still loving them. To fully give love one must also love oneself in the same way…can you do that? Can you love yourself fully, completely and consciously, knowing all your faults, weaknesses and failures?

Most people have no idea how any of it makes sense, unfortunately. The problem with love is that we all want it so much and yet it is what we are most afraid of. We want the other to give us complete, unconditional, and amazing love, but we resist opening our hearts to receive that kind of love. In a stingy way we slowly open the purse of our heart, while it squeaks and releases tiny moths. Moths of doubt, fear of failure, fear of rejection, betrayal, anger, heartache, depression; they don’t go very far. Those moths fly, waiting for the first hint that the heart will let them back inside.

All previous pain that has ever caused heartache can be brought back in an instant, as long as the situation is even slightly similar to what happened in the past. The person may not be anything like the one who caused the pain in the past, but will suddenly be treated as the same person. Alas, nothing good comes of those things. Loving honestly is a different matter and involves complete honesty both within and with the other person. Dealing with another truly and honorably takes love to a much deeper level. Only with that degree of depth can true love flourish because it removes all doubt and fear.

Not everyone is ready for such a commitment to the truth, even within themselves. Finding one willing to give at that level is so confusing to most people that they run in the other direction…unless that’s exactly what they’re looking for. When two people like this meet, the relationship becomes a truly lasting ship… of love. The only way to prepare for such a deep love is to love oneself deeply: to know the Self so fully and completely that one is ready to share that depth of love with another.

©2010 Dr. Valerie Olmsted All Rights Reserved